sejam lagi hidup gak tambah hidup tapi tambah susah...dah susah kayak gini masih aja kurang...emang kurang ajar!!!hidup terasa mencekik banget hari2 ini...yah dulu juga dah nyekik...apa2 jadi serba menggeragap...apa2 serba kaku...apa2 serba salah...bertahan aja susah palagi bergerak...walah2 apa artinya ini???mungkin gak ada artinya selain selasa, rabu, kamis, dst...gimana kalo chatting aja???apa ya internet juga mau naik???hubungannya apa yah...mungkin jauh...tapi kesempatan kata orang...mumpung yang lain naik ya ikutan naik...weleh2!!!trus...pusing!!!???!!!

after you've had it...
there isn't even life without drugs...

go ask alice

wats 'it'?...its just 'it'...no more, no less...

i feel so strange this day...i dunno y...mayb d situations n conditions of this country...it seems so burdened wid heavy weight problems dat nobody can solve those wid quick solutions...its very complicated so dat influence populations even personally...ppl is gonna b crazy facing these situations...y its happened?since when?4 how long?...we r just able 2 answer these in silent...wid a silent eyes...in tears n compassions 2 look those better s'day...we hope so...dats only it we can talk abt...a blind hope...

when i was a kid, i n my sis had dogs named 'white' n 'brown'...'white' was smaller n younger than 'brown'...'white' was very cute, n 'brown' was very brave...we loved them very much...we played together wid these 2 funny dogs...just played around all days...but s'day when dey was crossing d street a bus hit them 2 dead...we all were sad n cried out till days goin dark...we burried them at our backyard under a tree...we've been remembering d lovely moments when we were playing wid them...n we've been lovin them...our deep condolences 2 'white' n 'white'...

kayaknya pacaran jaman sekarang enak yah...didukung konvergensi telekomunikasi...kita bisa kabar-kabari kapan aja kita mau...pas dosen/gurunya malesin kita bisa sms-an ma pacar...pa lagi kalo pacarnya seruangan kita bisa chatting segala pake ponsel...kan asik tuh...lagi pusing kita bisa langsung curhat...lagi seneng kita bisa janjian...mau pergi kemana kek...kalo ada ada kerjaan yang gak bisa ditinggalin...kita bisa kirim puisi plus lagu plus foto lewat mms...malah kalo gak nganggu kerjaan kita bisa ngobrol lewat videoshare/conference pake teknologi 3G...ihhh tuh wajah imut2 pacar kita bisa keliatan di ponsel...asik banget kayaknya...saking gampangnya 'ngeliat' pacar kapan aja dimana aja...mungkin suatu saat pacaran gak perlu lagi ketemuan kayak dulu yang bikin ati deg2an...hehehe.hidup para pecundang...menyingkirlah para pahlawan...hihihi

i dunno wat ppl has in mind 2 interpret d world...but clearly dey've, its different frm 1 2 another indeed...dey r different abt status, social, economics,educations n else...but wat d origins of those difference???mayb its wrong 2 ask dat so...dey r different frm d beginning...watever this beginning it was...so now we must ask abt d world itself...d world dats interpreted by ppl who has differences in mind...if d differences constitute d world dats interpreted...does d world has many faces?or mayb there r many worlds?or traditionally just 1 world dat exist?...d question of ' there exist just 1 world' assume dat d world exist outside d interpretation n has d fact in itself, dats given, has its own life...if dats so, we dun interpret d world but just try 2 find out or discover dat world...but how?just interpreted d world again n again?...then d interpreted world is different frm 1 2 another vertically or horizontally?vertically means dat d 1 is above another like a storeys...WILL B REVISED!

i dunno wat 've 2 b written in these blogs this day...but still, av 2 write s'thin...wats dat???friends, families???nay...gf???it waste my time...wat abt writing nothin???i mean it dat we write "s'thin" dat 've "n'thin", not dat we dun write anything!!!could we???here is d writing of nothin "....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................." ends

av friends born in september...i call them septemberian...it seems 2 me dat dey've s'thin in common...d same characters or mayb fiture too...their look catch my eyes...mayb dey not chic enough, closer 2 another lay-man,but u must say s'thin if dey pass through ur way...sometimes dey've strong prejudice in valuing s'thin...but u should b careful saying dat dey r closer 2 emotional than rational...we must consider it deeply...its just an stereotype...stereotype is constituted by s'thin in common largely...2 make s'thin depicted in brain colorly...stereotype is more connected 2 ideology than science...its now a trend dat everythin must b based in science evidence...but its just another ideology...an modern 1...ideology 've many faces...including scientific face...but leave it behind...stereotype gives us a scene so dat we can get into dat scene comfortly...watever it is...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

av a dream...av a home...a green 1...not so big but nice enough i think...this 1 was my parents dream since dey could dream of dat property...dream come true...surrounded by green grass too...wid 2 large room n smaller 1 which belong 2 me...green?soon ppl imagine d color dat attribute 2 islam or islamic party...but ppl can imagine dat color represents pasific immobility...most likely ppl say dats a negative term...i dun think so...everythin's mobile n immobile at once...home's indeed immobile but persons dat live in is mobile...home's like other social institution...dey've formation n action...

av somethin in my brain...brain dat remembers...i had many friends...they studied together in d same jr-hi-school as i did...they were d lovely friends i ever had...they were innocence in their act...did somethin dat satisfy their childhood...nothin personal in dat time...they just followed their instinct 2 make somethin different than other...somethin dat make their life happy...enjoy d life happily...they didnt think somethin in d future yet...in dat time they just thought 'here n now'...'here n now' in dat time is complicated if it connected 2 'here n now' nowadays...time remains d same...but 'here n now' clearly is historical bound...so they r already diferrent now...exactly it does...they mayb still enjoy life as they did...but somethin 2 b added...now they r burdened by another 'goal' in d future...so in d present time they r different in 2 opposite terms...1 side they r different in d sake of historical bound 'here n now'...its a 'destiny'...no 1 can evade this pull...d other they now already think somethin in d future...its a 'choice'...just lay down 2 dat choice or reach out d sky wid a sword...but however they were d lovely friends i ever had...i just follow my brain dat remembers...just recall...they dun study together wid me anymore...just make their own way...fake or genuine...it doesnt matter...there r many ways 2 rome...but rome isnt established in 1 day...rome depends on wat we do 'here n now'...depends on days dat we experience...days dat always 'here n now'....

we've got nothin...till now, we've been learning dat we've 2 get somethin after we think or do 'somethin'...so we must make somethin come into being...d long journey has 2 b ended in empirical reality...do 'somethin' is no other than philoshopical 1, at least psycilogical...wat did we think already?...we create somethin if we think...but wat we create by thinking?...wats somethin in dat matter?mayb its a reality too...but soon s'1 argue dat its not reality we can 'touch'...its d unreal reality...d logics of biner slip into this conversation...we think somethin is already get somethin...think is d act...act is somethin dat we produce in empirical reality...at least connected 2 empirical tightly...so if we think means dat we create somethin empirical n lastly get somethin dat we can 'touch'...

hey lit fish...wat r u doin now?lookin at ur bf photos?whre r u now?in ur bedroom starin ur gal?or on d beach glancing at d ocean?try 2 understand d fishes attitude?they've dat 1?d same as ur lecturers?mayb u dun care too much 2 this writing...watsoever...but wat r u doin n whre r u right now?

so whre r u my chinese girl?workin as usual?workin so hard dats leavin ur feelin behind?time's never run out...u waste ur time by workin so hard dat u never think abt...but d choice has its own life indeed...dats democrazy ambiguity...d choice dat never reach d total life of its own...somethin dats not represent entirely ur own choice...u've 2 work hard so u've ur entirely being...dats ideology u work 4...d result is ur boring day...try 2 ask wat it'll b taken...nothin but ur time...time remains d same...d same as u r...workin hard all days...somethin dat u'll fight 4 till ur blood drained...say somethin or u'll take ur time just 4 nothin...u wouldnt b d same as u think abt...

i dunno wat i suppose 2 do...mayb we must do somethin dats unusual...but it take another way of thinking...d way dats mayb not comfort 4 our life...thinking dats we r not on d way like others do...we should think of wat others called barbarismus...out of polis...is it a 'good' one?or d opposite?...mayb we should not ask 'good' or 'bad' 4 dat choice...otherwise we've 2 say 'good' n 'bad' altogether...somethin dat make us could brake d rules of normality...d usuallity...but if we r there...wat we suppose 2 do...its not a 'good' question...we back 2 this dubious question...we suppose not goin back...we've 2 eat dat tail...

ngapain enaknya sore2 gini yah...kayaknya lagi gak enak banget idup ni yah...kata orang hidup gak selalu harus indah, tapi setidaknya bisa brarti lah...emang apa samanya indah ma brarti yah...emang kata temenku org filsafat, indah ma brarti beda banget...estetika ma epistemologi...tapi ada yang ngomong kalo idup bisa brarti, kita bisa dengan mudah menikmati indahnya idup...kalo bisa nikmati idup, rasanya ayem ati, tentrem...ada artinya kita idup lah...mungkin dua kata itu emang beda, tapi hubungannya emang erat karena penuh misteri!!!but who cares...